Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize