I got chris browned last night
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
