Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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