Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
