Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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