Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
