oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I bet he comes in French.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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