Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
