how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize