Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
