Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i already hear my dad disowning me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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