Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
