NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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