Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it because I queefed?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
