Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
