so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
