I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
