I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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