Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
