It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he was CRYING into my vagina
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
