i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
