Porn is love you can see.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I will be naked everywhere
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
