Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
