I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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