Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Green mimosas i think yes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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