I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
