This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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