Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
