you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
