i jhust puked up my retainher.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
