Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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