Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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