I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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