operation harelip BJ is a go
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
