Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize