Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She announced her abortion via fbk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize