They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
