if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
