worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
