I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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