Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize