I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
