you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
