Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
