how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
