i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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