New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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