So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
