Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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