This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
