OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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