Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
