Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
