Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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