I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I love you.
Bad choice
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
