I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
